Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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