Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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