my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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