if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
