I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
