I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize
