you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
