Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i think i have herpe
just one?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
