I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
