my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
