you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
