Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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