I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
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