So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize