you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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