she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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