my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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