He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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