do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize
