Whod you bang
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
