So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
