i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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