My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize