just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
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