I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
