so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
