But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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