Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
