Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize