Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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