I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
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