dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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