He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Randomize
