Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize