I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize