How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
