Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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