The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
