tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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