Having a random hookup so left but love u
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
