i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
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