He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
