If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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