Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Randomize
