we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
