the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
be right there i have to get my cape
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
