I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Randomize
