walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
Randomize
