My hand turned me down
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
