3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
