I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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