Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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