whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
