so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
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