Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
God I need to hump something, right now.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
