she kept yelling 'call me bella'
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Randomize