Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize