I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Randomize
