WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
